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MY MAIN CHARACTER ACADEMY

EPISODE 1: A Weeb Welcome

EXT. MAIN CHARACTER ACADEMY – MORNING (1)

Camera pans down onto a large academy reminiscent of University Architecture. Carved and embalmed across the arch entrance are the words: Main Character Academy. Students in uniform are flocking inside as the morning bell rings and all have hair that has been termed in the Anime community as ‘main character hair’. Camera continues to pan over the environment and the students who are excited for the first day of the prestigious school as the voice over, done by SHINICHI TEMPEST (16), the most forgettable person you ever met, begins his monologue.

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“Today is the first day of Main Character Academy. A high school created for those whose destinies are tied to a greater fate; a fate that will ultimately be capitalized by the Media Business, or better known as Crunchyroll, and these students deemed worthy enough to be Main Characters, their lives will be broadcasted for weebs to enjoy, worldwide. Weebs like me! Weebs like you!”

“You can’t just waltz into a prestigious school like this. Main Character Academy runs it Hogwarts style: by invitation. The kinds of kids that get invited to this school can be really surprising. They’re the kinds of people who you wouldn’t even think could exist within well-written character development. So, now you know there’s no writers you can throw your complaints at. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

“You’ve got your Narutos or your Dekus and even Happys plus many more unknowns who rejected the offer to go to school here. Those cases are usually in denial of their Main Character fate. Often weeb-phobic, too. They just don’t think they belong.”

“I’ve been a long time fan of the shows that have come from this school. I always wished I could be a student here but I always knew that would never happen that is until a week ago when I got an odd letter in the mail. It was an invitation to enroll in Main Character Academy. I was invited to Main Character Academy but I know I REALLY don’t belong!”

INTRO PLAYS THAT’S FULL OF SPOILERS AND DESPONDENT EDGY PROFILE SHOTS OF THE CHARACTERS AS THEY SLOWLY LOOK FROM THE SKY TOWARDS THE CAMERA. THE SONG IS A BANGER AND HELLA SWEET.

EXT. MAIN CHARACTER ACADEMY – MORNING (2)

Students are walking past SHINICHI TEMPEST who is staring blankly ahead clearly not aware of his surroundings. He’s muttering to himself and is attracting side-glances from the students walking around him to get inside the academy.

STUDENT 1:

“Is he okay?”

STUDENT 2:

“He knows we don’t have to monologue out loud, right?”

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“I can’t believe it. I’m on the VERY grounds of Main Character Academy on the FIRST day of school! It’s like a dream come true. If you had told me I’d be going to THE M.C. Academy, I would have thought you were joking. Mainly because I know I don’t belong.”

STUDENT 1:

“You said that already!”

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“All these other kids are interesting and have a lot going for them. They’re beyond spectacular! But me? I’m as dull as rocks. Break me open and there’s just more of the same. My whole life I’ve been boring. Everyone I know tells me so. I’m just your average guy. I don’t have a sad backstory, recovery arc, super powers, glorious mission, personality trait, none of it! So, when I found that invitation in the mail, I was truly dumbfounded.”

FLASHBACK BEGIN

SHINICHI TEMPEST opens up the front door if his house in the most normal and boring way possible. He calmly walks to the mailbox and opens it. He finds the letter. He opens it and is surprised.

FLASHBACK END

STUDENT 1:

“THAT was the flashback? What did that establish? You already SAID that.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“Well, now that I’ve established how much of an utter disappointment of a main character I am, let’s begin the story.”

STUDENT 2:

“Boo! Ham-fisted!”

INT. CLASSROOM – MORNING (3)

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“Has there been a mistake? Should I turn myself in? Maybe it was delivered to the wrong address or maybe it’s a fake. I guess I’ll just see what today has in store for me. What else can I do?”

MISS PROVACATA (30), a flamboyant and provocatively dressed teacher, struts into the classroom and all students pay attention.

MISS PROVACATA:

“Helloooo there!”

Class is in shock but also in awe at her provocative nature.

STUDENT 1:

“Is there not a dress code for this school?!”

MISS PROVACATA:

“I’m Miss Provacata. I hope you all are having a FABU first day at the school where you truuuuly belong. Because if you didn’t belong here, I would have to -PUNISH- you mhm.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“I have to prove to missly boobsly that I’m interesting. Must. Be. Interesting.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST visibly sweats. He then raises his hand unprompted.

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“…ahh.. Uh I MET A RHINOCEROUS ONCE!”

The whole class is silent and is staring daggers at SHINICHI TEMPEST. He whimpers.

MISS PROVACATA:

“Tempest, this is not show-and-tell. Naughty.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“She knows my name?”

SHINICHI TEMPEST is blushing as he thinks this.

STUDENT 2:

“Is this kid going to interierally monologue the whole damn time?”

STUDENT 3:

“Leave him alone, it’s endearing.”

STUDENT 1:

“No it is not. Just because you say it or heavily heavily imply it with editing and animation does not make dumb qualities like that intrinsically endearing. Only under this specific, controlled perspective will you find this endearing, and when confronted with it by an ACTUAL person in the ACTUAL word, you will not see it as romanticized or likeable as it is now. Writers like to take these weird characteristics and force the aud-“

MISS PROVACATA:

“For starters, you all have been assigned a section of the school that will best fit your character arc. Each section will provide specific criteria that best -supports-

Fanservice boob jiggle close-up because how could anime plot function without it?

MISS PROVACATA:

“your educational needs, events that fit your genre, and NPCS to fill out your day-to-day life. Your assigned section can be found in the pamphlet on your desk. Go ahead and -flip- through them then go to your assigned section.”

STUDENT 2:

“Why are writers trying to give kids boners?”

STUDENT 1:

“It’s not for the kids.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“Huh. This pamphlet. It has MY name on it. If I wasn’t meant to be here, then they’d have a completely different person on here. So, I must belong, right? But what’s so special about me?”

SHINICHI TEMPEST is struck with an idea. The camera is zoomed in solely on his face as he thinks to himself but also slightly aloud.

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“Oh! I completely forgot! The common trope where the main character’s adventure starts on the first day of school. The day where an exciting event reveals how truly spectacular that person is. That must be me since nothing spectacular has happened to me ever. So, I just have to be on the look out for an event that defines my future.”

“Now, let’s see what section I’m assigned to. Section C. Huh, not a lot to go off of. Maybe Miss Provacata has a map?”

SHINICHI TEMPEST looks up from his pamphlet and the classroom is completely empty.

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“Oh. Everyone left already. How long have I been monologuing internally?”

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY – MORNING (4)

Everyone is staring at SHINICHI TEMPEST as he walks down the Academy hallway. Comments like: “Is that a student? He looks too normal.” “He must be staff or an NPC.” “This is probably the only time he’s ever stood out in a crowd.” can be heard as he walks by them.

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“Section C looks like your typical High School. All the other kids look like regular people. Well, except for their hair.”

Slow-motion shot of students vogueing and posing for camera with their hair blowing gently by a fan as if they were models. Their eyes are squinted and their lips pursed.

INT. ANOTHER CLASSROOM – MORNING (5)

MR. NO NONSENSE (34), a tall and terse teacher who embodies all the faults of a patriarchal system, walks to the front of the classroom in a way that certain people think of as impressive, but those people are dumb for being so easily swayed into that impression even within a fictional environment. Being a leader and being an intimidating jerk to those under your power are not the same and believing that only purports the negative qualities that the patriarchal society has imposed on our minds and collective understanding of decent human interaction.

MR. NONONSENSE:

“Hello class. I am Mr. No Nonsense. I’m the strict teacher who doesn’t take any bull. Just because you’re special doesn’t mean you can ignore your studies. Life won’t simply hand you the victory. Even main characters have their share of trials they must overcome in their season. So, don’t think you’re getting a free ride. You aren’t special. You are snot-nosed brats just like anyone else.”

He sneers and lets out a faint laugh as he tilts his head down and holds a single finger to his temple. The girl students swoon.

STUDENT 1:

“No. Don’t fall for it. He’s not sexy. He’s a jerk and he’s 34.”

STUDENT 2:

“Why do fans like jerks in TV?”

MR. NONONSENSE:

“As you may have noticed, you’re in the ‘typical high school’ section of the Academy. For those of you who didn’t notice, there are usually a few, ‘typical high school’ is the setting of your world. It is where your story will take place. This means that none of you have any special powers. None of you will have a ‘special event’ that happens to you today, either. You are in a category not much spoken of outside the Academy walls. A category so boring that no one can really explain why it still exists. But the fans of the Academy’s shows are our Gods, so who are we to defy them? Open your envelopes and your assignments will become clear to you.”

The students mutter amongst themselves in confusion as they open their envelopes. SHINICHI TEMPEST holds open the letter from his envelope as he reads it.

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“Genre: Slice of Life. Role: Regular Guy…”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“Wait… So… I’M NOT SPECIAL AFTER ALL?!!”

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY – AFTERNOON (6)

SHINICHI TEMPEST is collapsed against a wall of lockers with a dazed/knocked out look on his face. Students walking past can be heard commenting on his freak out during class. LIZZY LIONES (16), a wide-eyed student with a pink streak in her brunette bob hair who is determined to play her part as average student well, walks up to SHINICHI TEMPEST.

LIZZY LION:

“Oh, hello. You must be Shinichi Tempest.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST does that weird nosebleed thing in anime whenever a remotely “cis-attractive” woman talks to them because the audience is desperate to know whether the 2D, male protagonist has a hard-on for them.

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“How do you know my name?”

LIZZY LION:

“It says on my role card that we’re supposed to be friends.”

STUDENT 2:

“Is she not going to point out his bloody nose?”

STUDENT 1:

“Usually I’m pro knowing when the Main Character has a boner but I just don’t feel the connection or the passion in this scene. I have some rewrites to post on the message board tonight.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“Sorry. I guess I missed that part of the role card.”

LIZZY LION giggles in an overly performative way.

STUDENT 2:

“Oh barf, not another one of THESE characters.”

LIZZY LION:

“No problem, Tempest-san. How are you enjoying school?”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“It’s a lot to take in.”

LIZZY LION:

“I know what you mean.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“Oh yeah?”

LIZZY LION:

“I was surprised that M.C. Academy have a section dedicated to regular people. Slice of Life is such a joke genre. I mean, who’d want to watch a show like that?”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“People who don’t know how to live a normal life?….like me…

LIZZY LION:

“What was that?”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“Uh nothing! By the way, I never got your name.”

LIZZY LION:

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m Lizzy Lion.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“You’re pretty.”

LIZZY LION:

“Huh? Why’d you go and say something like that?”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“Uh it just came to me?”

LIZZY LION:

“Oh. But you couldn’t have meant it. My role card doesn’t say love interest.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“Shot down and in such a passive way too.”

STUDENT 2:

“Are you kidding me? No one is THAT naïve.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“My bad. Sorry about that. Just not used to this roles thing yet.”

LIZZY LION:

“I’m sorry too. I just want to do well at this school. I feel so unprepared and unworthy, but I’ve got to try my best!”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“I agree. We can even help each other. We don’t have to do this alone.”

LIZZY LION:

“Right! Let’s help each other be the best regular people we can be.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“Yeah!”

LIZZY LION:

“So, Tempest-san?”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“Yeah?”

LIZZY LION:

“Why do you think we were chosen to go to this school out of all of the regular people? I can’t think of a single thing that would make me special enough for this kind of thing.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“Hm. Now that you bring it up, that’s a good question. Even though you’ve asked me such a deep question on the spot and we’re near strangers, I’ll answer in a purely philosophical way that won’t feel natural or realistic at all but, in the same beat, will feel powerful and moving because it speaks to a universal truth which audiences like even when out of context for some reason. Anyway, if I had to guess, I’d say we were chosen because we’re relatable.”

FLASHBACK BEGIN

SHINICHI TEMPEST is sitting in his living room on the couch watching TV. He is enjoying watching it.

FLASHBACK END

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“Something about us connects to people everywhere.”

LIZZY LION:

“Connects? What do you mean?”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“People can see parts of themselves in us. Things we have in common.”

LIZZY LION:

“Whoa. That answer was offputtingly deep for two near strangers to tackle within the first conversation they’re having with one another, but I too will agree that it is a beautiful sentiment that is observing the truths of humanity. So, even if not in the right context, it warms my heart to hear.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“I’m sure all the male viewers will relate to my masturbation technique.”

STUDENT 3:

“Yeah, even I don’t know where this is going.”

LIZZY LION:

“Uh… How many techniques could ther- I don’t think that’s universal enou- Please, don’t bring that up ever again.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“Don’t disrespect my one external organ. Although an ultimately trivial ordeal, the pleasure it serves has defined many moments in my life in significant ways.”

CHISAKI (17), a muscular, tough student that has become hardened because of a tragic event in his past who chooses to wear his hair spiky and red while wearing oddly stylish gloves, storms through the hallway towards SHINICHI TEMPEST in a huff.

CHISAKI:

“HOI, ASSHOLE!”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“Oh, hey. You were in our class too, right?”

CHISAKI:

“Of course I was! Don’t act like you barely even know me, punk!”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“What’s your problem?”

CHISAKI:

“My problem? My problem is guys like you getting into a prestigious school like this. You don’t belong here! You’re too boring, even by Slice of Life standards.”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“Look, I don’t want to get into anything with you.”

CHISAKI:

“Trying to make me seem like the jerk, eh? All because I give a damn about who they let in here. Look around. Everyone has something going for them except for you. You’re as dull as mud. Hey! Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you!”

CHISAKI grabs SHINICHI TEMPEST by the shirt and SHINICHI TEMPEST wriggles out and is aggravated.

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“Don’t touch me!”

CHISAKI:

“Liz, you don’t have to hang out with this loser. He’ll only drag you down.”

LIZZY LION:

“…oh…uh?”

SHINICHI TEMPEST:

“Just leave her alo-“

SHINICHI TEMPEST touches CHISAKI lightly on his shoulder. CHISAKI spins around and shoves him away. The two students begin to fight in the hall as a crowd of students gather.

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“Why isn’t anyone stopping this? Is this planned?”

SHINICHI TEMPEST looks up in a corner of the ceiling and sees a camera angled at them.

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“That’s it. This must by my bully. I really gotta read that role card. Don’t want to have any more surprises.”

CHISAKI:

“HOI! Stop muttering to yourself, wannabe!”

CHISAKI punches SHINICHI TEMPEST and he falls down hard. He lays in pain for a while as everyone watches.

SHINICHI TEMPEST INT. MONOLOGUE:

“I’m already failing, and everyone can see it. Everyone.”

END OF EPISODE 1

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